Thursday, May 10, 2012

How not to get sick:

zombie student captured here oogiboogi
You may have noticed this phenomena- picture a zombie, dragging around a slow-drop coffee IV, dark cirlces under their eyes, an ever so slight crack in their scull, and a voracious interest in books rather than flesh eating- keep this image in your mind and give it red hair. You just met this weeks version of me. To add insult to injury, the zombie is now coughing and sniffling in addition to ripping her hair out. As grotesque as this may sound, it isn't alltogether uncommon. I have run into many of my friends at the IV refill station (the Sacred Order of St. Arbucks) in a similar state. Yet why must our bodies suffer for the ailment of our minds? I think the time has come to support the body whilst exhausting the mind. I have taken it upon myself to figure out.... how not to get sick! Aside from the bioflavenoids and other flavins, there is a reason I am not a biochem major, I need a plan, maybe even five easy steps, to avoid getting sick, again.
1. Sleep. The Mayo Clinic says that sleeping allows infection-fighting cells, like cytokines, to mulitply. Also, [shocker] sleeping improves your memory, helps reduce stress, cuts down your dependancy on coffee, and makes you an overall better human being!
2. Go Orange. Apparently, oranges and other citrus are more than just the staple for your 'get pumped for summer' smoothy kick and staving off scurvy (basically a pirate's disease). Everywhere I look, very smart, healthy looking people in labcoats are telling me to eat citruses because of their vitamin C content.
3. Eat Garlic. I love garlic, I want to blame that on being italian, but I'm not. Nonetheless, I think garlic is fantastic! Apparently, in addition to being the root off all tastiness, for savory dishes at least, garlic helps your body replicate those ninja cells, it is antibacterial, antifungal, antiviral, and antioxidant... so you don't have to worry about getting cancer while you overcome your cold! It is also rumored to protect againt vampires, thus you will also be safe at the midnight Dark Shadows premier.

More after the break

4. Drink Carrot Juice. Now, my parents were pseudo hippies. So, when I was young and we lived in a shack out in the mountains of Colorado, we used to juice carrots like crazy- hence this whole idea is not all that foreign for me, but I realize for many of you, this is very strange. However, strange or not, Dr. Oz, who is not munchkin land, would like you to know that it supports almost all your cells, including the elusive ninja cell. Luckily, Naked's Orange-Carrot and Mango Veggie both contain this magic vegetable!
5. Do Weird Things. According to that bearded genius, Dr. Weil, the key to not getting sick is inhaling steam infused with sage or eucalyptus, taking astragalus, and eating tons of mushrooms. While the latter two are not very acessable, I think one could easily snag some sage and put it under uber-hot water flowing from a faucet, then you could just sit in the bathroom and practice breathing!
Hopefully, these ideas will help. I will keep you posted.


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