Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Day Hobbyist

Ah! The third week of summer! Not to tout my liberty over my many friends still struggling under the yolk of that heartless slave driver, finals, but I have reached a point in my summer where most truly productive endeavors have already been done. Whilst I slacked in my blogging (my deepest apologies), I have renewed my passport, vacuumed under my bed, finished Downton Abbey, had a family reunion, and even baked three batches of cupcakes! Faced with the threat of a listless existence, wholly dependent on Netflix's availability of tolerable entertainment, I have determined to pick up a hobby! Upon further consideration, however, many hobbies are lifetime or at least summer-consuming pursuits. Consider the classics, like playing guitar, golf, or painting - lifetimes have been absorbed! No, I daresay that a modern student like myself would do well to choose a hobby befitting the fast pace of the modern world, that is, a day-hobby. Such a hobby would not only occupy said student in a pseudo-meaningful way, but would arm them with a plethora of interesting tidbits and witty quips to impress their various followers or mitigate the awkwardness of chitchat.
Hence, over the next few posts, I will be delving into a few day-hobbies which piqued my curiosity.

Water Connoisseur for a day.
Typically, one becomes a connoisseur only after years of dedicating superfluous amounts of time and energy caring about what few people truly care about. Their subject ranges from wine to soda, maple syrup to salt, they have their own language, sense of humor, circle of friends, and style of hat. For instance, your wine connoisseur (or at its height, 'sommelier') would wear a beret, while your maple syrup connoisseur might wear a knit beanie because he is from Vermont. While comprehending all the nuances of wine or breaking into the salt gang of friends is daunting, especially when one is too young to partake in such appreciation, armed with the right terminology and hat one could easily become a connoisseur for a day. I suggest approaching ordinary things, like water or soda, from a new angle. That way, when your date walks in with crisp Fiji waterbottle, you can whip out something like, "Oh, so you're a Fiji person? I find I prefer ethos, for its more balanced feel and superior mineral content." Or something along those lines. I recommend hosting a fine water tasting, inevitably involving a trip to whole foods, to appreciate the finer points of water; be careful, however, to wash water tasting goblets with distilled {pure and flavorless} water so as to keep from tainting future tastings. 
Insightful Resources:
The Water Connoisseur blog 
Fine Waters
Continue reading for further enlightenment on dihydrogen monoxide {H2O}

Key terms:
Balance- refers to the level of carbonation naturally or artificially present in the water, ranging from 'still' to 'bold'.
Virginality- the purity of the water and its source, especially nitrates. These contaminants are known to cause a variety of wretched biological ailments and enter the supply from various sources- fertilizers, plant matter and the like- yet add no distinctive odor or flavor to the water. 
Minerality- the concentration of dissolved mineral compounds of the water. The higher the TDS content, the bolder and heavier the water. 
Orientation- in reference to the pH level of the water, pure water is supposedly a seven, but artisanal waters can range from five to ten. Low alkaline levels lend a sweet flavor while more acidic waters have a distinctive bitter taste and slippery feel. 
Vintage- the age of the water as determined by scientists, this applies to the glacial varieties of water in particular, as the age and source influences the minerality. 
The Woolen Diamond Porkpie Cap embodies the character of the water connoisseur- its diamond shape is reminiscent of the  water droplet and its wooly exterior protects it against any stray droplets in the event of truly putrid water spewed from the mouth. 
Brands to be aware off: 
Fiji, Voss, Evian, Municipal, Dasani and Aquafina are surface instantly on the radar, but a few off the beaten path brands should also come into consideration. 
Influencing issues:
Private vs. Public Water Distribution {consider the Cochabamba Catastrophe}, the upcoming Water Wars, the Dihydrogen Monoxide Hoax


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